Where do babies come from?

Looking at past pictures of Edie and how much she’s grown it was making me think how she’ll be in the future. I was wondering about that moment when Edie will come to us and ask “how are babies made?”. I know a lot of parents try to avoid the subject and distract them with stories about storks and cabbage patches but I’ve decided I’m going to be completely honest.

When a Mummy and a Mummy love each other very much and feel their clocks ticking they have a discussion. They then join a website where they find a man who doesn’t seem like a nutter and is preferably nice looking too. After getting to know each other for a while they sign up a contract. Once happy with the contract one of the Mummys works out when she’s ovulating. When the Mummy is ovulating the man (Daddy) puts some stinky liquid in a pot and before it gets cold Mummy uses a syringe to put the stinky liquid in her baby hole. This is repeated until Mummy feels like she’s losing the plot, finally gives up all hope and says she’s not doing it anymore. That is when Mummy falls pregnant and a baby grows in her belly.

I’m sure that’ll sink in nice and easily for her. I can’t wait to get a call from the school explaining Edie’s been teaching everyone in the playground the beautiful story of where babies come from.

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